Generally, I avoid making New Year’s Resolutions. But I am surrounded by many who faithfully make them each year. They pick an inspirational word like CONFIDENCE or FORWARD and then set to creating their list of changes to make in a year. People take on way more than I ever could. They are going to power lift, eat clean, save money, visit long-lost relatives, start a business, quit caffeine and take up mushroom coffee, read the classics, clean the attic, and crochet a king-sized bedspread. It overwhelms me. It would take me over a year just to quit the caffeine, and that would just make me mean.
There is something I do aim to do more of in 2024 though. A resolution with a lowercase r. I’d like to try to do more things solo. I am pretty comfortable being by myself. I always have been. I understand it’s not for everyone, but there is a growing list of things I’d like to do, and I’m the only one who is interested, so the time is now.
Last summer, I went on a yoga/hiking/travel adventure with Gypset Yoga Retreat to Iceland. The company is local but the travelers were from everywhere. And I went by myself. Not alone but solo. There is a difference. Trust me, I was not out there in a dramatic survival experience. I followed lovely prepared meals with guided hikes and dips in various geothermal spas. There were no hardships other than running out of the licorice I brought by day three. I didn’t know a single other traveler, and it really became part of the magic of the whole experience.
It was powerful medicine to explore on my own, literally walk at my own pace, and say yes or no to things without consideration for anyone else. Do I have to get up for early yoga? No. Do I want to every morning? Also, no. Do I want to have both desserts? Obviously yes. And nobody cared or judged or was impacted. It was positively exhilarating. It also was much like childhood. The oohs and aahs over seeing something for the very first time. The wonderment. I saw some things I never thought I’d have the opportunity to witness and in a place I thought I might never go.
Most of us spend so much of our time, so much of our precious lives, doing what other people want to do or need us to do. It’s easy to forget who we are or what we like outside of just getting through the day-to-day. It had been a very long time since I had even introduced myself not connected to someone else. Wife. Mom. Daughter. Sister. Employee. I was a whole person way back when without any qualifiers, and the trip reminded me so deeply - I still am.
Good or bad we will all spend a lot of hours alone. But they don’t need to be lonely.
So this year I hope to pursue a few more things solo. Small things. Things I don’t need to negotiate with anyone else. The movie that looks good. The lunch spot I’ve never tried. Saying yes, yes, yes. Or no, no, no. And I truly should increase my antioxidant-to-brownie ratio this year. That’s on me alone as well. But if it doesn’t come together…there is always 2025.
Cheers to new frontiers!
Jen Fortner is a freelance writer who enjoys asking friends and strangers far too many questions. She spends her spare time sitting in inclement weather watching youth sports, traveling, cooking, and searching for the very best baked goods. She lives in Shorewood, Minnesota with her husband, three children and the most spoiled dog.